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Home >> Hip Hop Forums >> give me feedback on this verse plz

give me feedback on this verse plz


2tru said: "Ayo, i was torn in half born to last storm was fast vast i ask the task of raps but hate me like i was sworn to clap a vision inscripted and writtens evicted missions inflicted the way my percision is gifted i state and duplicate fate with shapes make this straight and take ya place the definition of speach and religion is teached but they intermission is weak so i speak// achieved the highest believed in rhymes which deisceved leave me blindblue like crips trigger tips dart in aplan i could modify the heart in a man start and i stand to be marked and disband laugh and i land the darkness at hand// notify my mental ask why on instrumentals but the path i took was sly and vental with no circulation facin an intermination relizing i have entered a starving nation// multiple shine wrote to the lines claim your dope but you find your not gettin high couldnt explain feelings mantain stealing swift hits as original as smith chips quick spits and flip kids wheneva i rip shit i lack fans so get back damn understand fam my tracks jam shook but you cried i could tell you wasnt real from the look in your eyes took care for your side and only found hooks in the rise yeah fused wit pain i was sent to use my brain never lose and rien acidic clues aint sane never new the game but they call me mad...insane i know it whack but give feedback and maybe yall could help me improve my shit"